The kind of love I shouldn't feel
by FlightyBroads
Summary: Jade is in love with her brother and is conflicted about if she should just let it be or if she should try and tell him. The trolls are in here as humans and the kids in the are aged from seventeen to eighteen.


**Warnings: Incest, later ****lemons**

For one I do not own the homestuck characters they belong to the great Andrew Hussie. Second I am just experimenting with writing I know this isn't every good but maybe you could give me reviews and help me a bit? That would be appreciated a lot, because well I guess it's just a trial and error at this point so if you see any mistakes tell me and yeah I just hope you like it3

Oh and if you have in suggestions on how some things should happen they are completely accepted.

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><p><strong>POV Jade <strong>

It's not fair. It's just _not fair_ at all. It _**should **_be me with him not her. I should be the one he is smiling at like that. I should be the one by his side with my arm interlaced with his. I should be that one he is laughing with and flirting with. But it doesn't work like that at all because that is just wrong. It just is and I know it. But that doesn't change the fact that I love him only not the kind of love I should have for him. I should love him like a brother. When had this developed into some sick kind of love that I have. I just wish this wasn't how it was. I just want-

"Hello, earth to Jade? Are you alright you seem to be spacing out." Rose asked curiously.

"H-huh? Oh I am just fine I was just thing about something. Don't worry I am just totally fine. "I say trying to convince her as much as I can that I am fine.

She nods back and we continue walking two more blocks to the school building.

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><p>Walking home alone like I have been for the past few weeks since John started dating that bitch, really makes me kind of depressed. All I can see while walking down the streets is John next me with his derpy smile or his even derpier laughing fits. I know I shouldn't think about how cute everything he does is, because well he's my brother and you're not supposed to like your brother like this. I shouldn't feel like I should be the one he adores and would to do all the sappy love stuff. I shouldn't but that doesn't change that I do. I have known I had these feeling for him ever since that day at the pool four years ago.<p>

**Flashback:**

On his thirteenth birthday it had become surprisingly warm fast and the pools had opened early. So of course he wanted a pool party because what kid couldn't want one?

"Hey Jade! Watch this!" He says pulling out of the water that's when I realize am checking him out. Oh my god what the fuck is wrong with me! That is just disgusting. NO NO NO NO NO NO! I am _not _thinking that. It has to be my imagination. He is my brother for god sake! I can not believe this is happening.

**End of flashback**

Ever since that day I had noticed that every day he was hitting puberty, his body was coming in and his personality was maturing. I would become more interested in him every single day and I still do. When I turned sixteen last year and we finally got to live on our own, only if we lived in the same apartment though. So of course I started to see more sides of him then when we were at home with our family. Because it was only a two bedroom on bath decent size apartment, so there wasn't a lot of places to go. Unlike our 4 bedroom 3 bath two story house we _did _live in.

Now he is all that swims my thoughts, at least when I was at home I could talk to Dad or someone to get it off my mind. It's becoming even worse now that he is dating Vriska because well now he is hardly around and I can't distract myself even the littlest. Usually when I do see him it's when he wants to watch one of his movies or something to eat.

I finally get home and sit down and _try _to do my homework. These past few weeks have been really hard focusing on school work. Because well all I do is think about John and his bitch of a girlfriend and how happy they are. It really does fuck me up even worse. I _should _be happy for him but I won't be happy till he is mine and he will never be mine.

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><p>Okay so how do you like it? This is just like an opening I guess so yeah. I hope it was alright (:<p> 


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